When my daughter was about three years old. She said she wanted to be a “Contraption fixer!” aka a mechanic. Then! She wanted to be a writer. Nothing became of it! Then!! She wanted to a mental health provider because her be wanted to be one. She did not have the high enough math to be one as well. So! She decided to be a Psychologist.
The point I am trying to make here is! When we first see our kids to be curious in something. That is when we should watch them and see how far it goes. But at the same time. Do not deter them from it. Because what if it’s something they really and truly want to do as they get older? Then it becomes something they can be happy in rather than be miserable in.
Just because! We may be does not mean they (our kids!) have to be.
Let me give you an example! I me some kid (I will call him a kid because he does not even be called a kid at ten when we met. You will find about him in later posts!)
At the time we met! He asked me :”what do you want to be when you grow up?” said: “A DJ!” He laughed! He said he wanted to be an air force jet pilot! He continued! He said: “When you are making $1,00 a year! “I’ll be making $11,000 a year! (Keep i mind! This was 1967. When the COLA was not as bad as it s today! He had said this!)
Then he wanted to be a Hydraulics & pneumatics engineer because his dad new someone who was on and had a $60,000 house in Fla.. He die learn to be one. but somehow he got bitter about his employment ops. I still think that! His dad who was a R.R. engineer! Wanted him to be in a job where he could make a real buck. even thought! His dad was making one at the same time. Instead! He learned Computers.
Amazing! He knew what he what he wanted to be (at 10 yrs.old!)! But! Did not go for it!
I do want to make this even clear! Even given what had happened to Mr. Foley last week.
Over the years! There have been so great many people in this industry that have come and gone. That some have been called veterans of broadcasting.
And for him to put down these people in the industry & bad mouth them is! Well you know how that goes.
Another example is from me!
My mother was at one point in time! A RN. Due to circumstances she lost her license. And became a housekeeper for hire.,
It was not until ,was about 14 years old. I wanted to be a writer. Although For several years I did keep it to myself. But! When ,did tell my mom. She said: “You have to know someone!” “You have to pull There went that idea/thought.
Then in later years! I wanted to get into music! My influencers were Burt Bacharach, Chicago, Seals & Croft, Ed Ames, Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66! I told my mom! And! To the same as well.
Years later! About 12 years to be precise! I asked her why did she not let me become any of those things that ,wanted? She said: “I did not want to see you fall flat on your face!”
I know! One should not be put down or blame ones mom! But! In looking back. I knew the why she says what she said. No one wants ever to see their own child not be successful/loose/fail/or “Fall flat on their face!”
My parents did not know what to look for! While my two “Half” Sisters and I were growing up any more than any of us even on to today. As a parent! I think we are more concerned about that they do not get into trouble, get good grades and you know the rest!
Most of us spend a good chunk of our life! Either trying to find something/someone to blame for what we have become in our life.,
There are even some people! Who have stayed at their jobs since it was their first job. And have not even given it a thought about doing something that either wanted, interesting, satisfying to do/be!
When your young and finding a job just to have some money in your pockets to spend. But! It’s another when you make your first job! Your life’s work! When you already have what it is that you have both in mind & want!,
,I myself did not understand the whys of my mom! But guess I made my peace with it.
But! What about us & our kids? ,Are we are telling them to take the course we are? The same job/career vs. what they want to do/be?,
I look at both writing and composing music! As a craft! But! For me writing is booth an interest and a hobby as well. It keeps my interest up constantly! Always thinking, wondering what can ,write next?
,But! It’s something that in looking back! I would still be writing either way! With either by hand, The typewriter (old I know!), Computer/internet, Blogging/posting, author of mini books, op-ed’s.
Do you see what I am talking about?
Knowing the rules, procedures, laws, understanding, knowing people. There is more to this but you know!
But! Being different is not as in: “Who are you”? It means being yourself, your own person. It’s my life and not someone else’s. It means having flexibility in choosing what you want, when you want, how you want. Taking the things you have learned along the way and still learning them and using them 24/7. Self-actualization can be defined as:,http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds_2.htm. And what is it:,http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/tp/self-actualized-characteristic.htm.
It’s not as hard as one may think it is. The best way I can describe it? It means going long the least traveled path in life. But! It also means knowing when to go onto the heavily traveled path just long enough to do what needs to be done. And jump back on the less traveled path and go about your journey/business.
We aren’t completing our hierarchy of needs! But! It does beat what is out there! The followers, the ones who cannot think or even do for themselves, the blending of each others minds (The jury is and always will be out on that one!).
Sum it all up and the conclusion is clear. Self-actualization means being yourself, doing what you want. But! It also means being open-minded, free thinking. Yes! There are times when one does need to challenge the system! But within the means of it! It is not out of reach. Knowing who to trust and whom not to trust. Keeping one’s own good counsel. And yes! At times wearing many hats judge, jury, counsel, best friend, man/woman/husband/wife/mom/dad.
Let me touch on being a good friend! I will not go into details of what a good friend is! We all have our own definition of that. Some on the money! Some others, not so much. Being a good friend means for someone who you want to go to if/when you have a problem with. And it does not go any further than “You, me, the wall”!. If you really think about it. Being a good friend is the very same thing that you want in a friend as well. It is very unfortunate because the world and the way it is. That friend is so very few and very far between. I could go on but I am sure you know the rest of the story!
Being a student does have its drawbacks. There are people who, when they meet someone who is! Two things that come to mind here. 1. They think “This guys so cool”! 2. They think “You’re like all the others!” A clash of definitions! Is this really what it all comes down to.