This is something that I can relate to. Both directly! And indirectly.
Because some these things did happen to me. And others I know of people who had it happen to them as well.
First off! Not all conversations are two-way! Sometimes between friends they can be one-way as well. What I mean is. If a friend has a problem with something. For all we know they just want someone to just listen to them. I know what you think: “What’s the catch?” Perhaps! They needed someone to bounce off the problem to. Sometimes be a sounding board for them.This is just a little bit of what being a friend is about.
Be happy for your friends success! This can be a tough one for some people. Because of the kind/type of friend s/he is.
An example. I had a so-called friend that over the years. He a nothing good to say about me not in any way! But as time went on. I was always happy for him. Then I learned something! I do not need people such as him who are only concerned about them and not others.,
I am happier now! Than I was when we were together.
But that! Is just an isolated incident!
When I was young. I loved to go to the bars and just drink and listen to the music/groups that were there or watched the drummer who enhanced up the beat for the young people to dance to. While I was there! ,did not concern myself with finding someone. I always thought to myself:” If it happens!” “It happens!” An interesting way of saying: “All things in time!”
Over the years as friends come and go! ,I have listened the many guys talk (If not boast & brag about!) this girl and I did this and that girl did that.
At the time! I knew little about what my fellow male friends did and the way they talked it sounded like they did not either. All by relayed messenger (other guy friends “+/-” on the fact/fiction!).
I had to be the only teen in America! Who’s mom allowed me to go get a copy of Playboy every month! And YES! I did look at the pictures. But! ,also read the Playboy advisor as well. Even to this day & beyond I will always call him my mentor because of his advisor section that responded to readers questions! But! How their response was to all them.,
But the thing, that still even to this day! Is how hard, difficult, complex in general! Relationships are these days! It will be a battle of the sexes. Women think/claim they know more than men! Men to the same as well.
The real problem between men and women is too much “EXCREMENT” is going around! But at the same time! There is another problem as well. And that is “TRADITION” How men seen and heard how dad treated mom! And how mom looked & felt after what dad did and their daughters on the same end as well also.
And the next thing in line is! Past relationships on both sides.
When it comes to the past! Let it GO! There is no!!!! Rewinds, instant replays, wayback machines, time tunnels, magical, mystical, cosmic, force that can nor ever will bring it back and change anything!
You learn from it and move on is all any of us can really do.
But! That does not mean to be bitter against any people/animals included!
Believe it or not! Like it or not!
Life itself! Always has! Always will! Be on great big classroom 24/7!
What you learn from it depends on you!
You can either let make you!
Or! Break you!
When my daughter was about three years old. She said she wanted to be a “Contraption fixer!” aka a mechanic. Then! She wanted to be a writer. Nothing became of it! Then!! She wanted to a mental health provider because her be wanted to be one. She did not have the high enough math to be one as well. So! She decided to be a Psychologist.
The point I am trying to make here is! When we first see our kids to be curious in something. That is when we should watch them and see how far it goes. But at the same time. Do not deter them from it. Because what if it’s something they really and truly want to do as they get older? Then it becomes something they can be happy in rather than be miserable in.
Just because! We may be does not mean they (our kids!) have to be.
Let me give you an example! I me some kid (I will call him a kid because he does not even be called a kid at ten when we met. You will find about him in later posts!)
At the time we met! He asked me :”what do you want to be when you grow up?” said: “A DJ!” He laughed! He said he wanted to be an air force jet pilot! He continued! He said: “When you are making $1,00 a year! “I’ll be making $11,000 a year! (Keep i mind! This was 1967. When the COLA was not as bad as it s today! He had said this!)
Then he wanted to be a Hydraulics & pneumatics engineer because his dad new someone who was on and had a $60,000 house in Fla.. He die learn to be one. but somehow he got bitter about his employment ops. I still think that! His dad who was a R.R. engineer! Wanted him to be in a job where he could make a real buck. even thought! His dad was making one at the same time. Instead! He learned Computers.
Amazing! He knew what he what he wanted to be (at 10 yrs.old!)! But! Did not go for it!
I do want to make this even clear! Even given what had happened to Mr. Foley last week.
Over the years! There have been so great many people in this industry that have come and gone. That some have been called veterans of broadcasting.
And for him to put down these people in the industry & bad mouth them is! Well you know how that goes.
Another example is from me!
My mother was at one point in time! A RN. Due to circumstances she lost her license. And became a housekeeper for hire.,
It was not until ,was about 14 years old. I wanted to be a writer. Although For several years I did keep it to myself. But! When ,did tell my mom. She said: “You have to know someone!” “You have to pull There went that idea/thought.
Then in later years! I wanted to get into music! My influencers were Burt Bacharach, Chicago, Seals & Croft, Ed Ames, Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66! I told my mom! And! To the same as well.
Years later! About 12 years to be precise! I asked her why did she not let me become any of those things that ,wanted? She said: “I did not want to see you fall flat on your face!”
I know! One should not be put down or blame ones mom! But! In looking back. I knew the why she says what she said. No one wants ever to see their own child not be successful/loose/fail/or “Fall flat on their face!”
My parents did not know what to look for! While my two “Half” Sisters and I were growing up any more than any of us even on to today. As a parent! I think we are more concerned about that they do not get into trouble, get good grades and you know the rest!
Most of us spend a good chunk of our life! Either trying to find something/someone to blame for what we have become in our life.,
There are even some people! Who have stayed at their jobs since it was their first job. And have not even given it a thought about doing something that either wanted, interesting, satisfying to do/be!
When your young and finding a job just to have some money in your pockets to spend. But! It’s another when you make your first job! Your life’s work! When you already have what it is that you have both in mind & want!,
,I myself did not understand the whys of my mom! But guess I made my peace with it.
But! What about us & our kids? ,Are we are telling them to take the course we are? The same job/career vs. what they want to do/be?,
I look at both writing and composing music! As a craft! But! For me writing is booth an interest and a hobby as well. It keeps my interest up constantly! Always thinking, wondering what can ,write next?
,But! It’s something that in looking back! I would still be writing either way! With either by hand, The typewriter (old I know!), Computer/internet, Blogging/posting, author of mini books, op-ed’s.
Do you see what I am talking about?