It was 1973!
My very first job at a printing plant in the shipping & receiving dept. It was not until about three months later It was a Saturday morning. My parents and I were at our favorite restaurant we went to in the mourning. And I decided since I did “Some” money on me (At that time I was making $65.52 a wk. after taxes! You don’t ever forget you how much money you made the at your first job!).Why not buy some cigars? At The time I did which cigars were the good stuff (The quality ones!). Or the cheapies (I learned fast about that one!).
I bought the ones with the plastic holders. Aromatic ones. Over time I got to a point that! I could not stand the aromatic ones., After I left work. And got home! I began smoking them. Then I went to the drugstore and bought another pack of cigars. Smoked them. And then another and then another then another so on!
In the afternoon! I took a nap. When I woke up! I had this nasty taste in my mouth. My mom looked at me and said: “You’ve been smoking!” She said with a smile on her face. She said: “I seen you buy the pack of cigars and I figured you are working, making money why not!”
All the kids in the neighborhood said: “You were smoking like a fish!”
It was at that point that I learned “Lighten up on the stogies!”
As time went on! I learned about cigars. Not to be a connoisseur of cigars! But which ones I did like and which ones I did not.
The ones that I did like were: A & C Grenadiers dark wrapper, Triplet flavored cigars the one I loved so much! Was the blueberry smell & flavor (Yes! I said flavor because when you picked up the pack! And smell the box you could smell the blueberry sent). They also had apple, cherry, natural as well.
As I got older! I shifted gears if you will. I went to smoking a tobacco pipe! Again I learned as I went along about the type and kinds of pipe tobacco there is.
Again! I tried aromatic blend it was all right but you know ( I found out that most people who were on the receiving end of smokers tobacco product(s), aromatic was the more accepted sent!). There was one that was good. A flavor called “French brandy”. Then I Became a lover of Borkum riff flavored tobacco products. They had cherry, rum, cognac, Champagne.
Now keep in mind! I am not! A real, true smoker in the fullest sense of the word.
I am on again! Off again smoker. Even for me! These e-cigarettes I am not “Head over heels about them”. For all anyone knows! This is a Alt. to get around the no smoking laws.
But as I have researched! Even the these have the nicotine as well.
There is a point in each & everyone’s life where we do have to consider our health Vs. fitting in because everyone else is doing it?
When my daughter was about three years old. She said she wanted to be a “Contraption fixer!” aka a mechanic. Then! She wanted to be a writer. Nothing became of it! Then!! She wanted to a mental health provider because her be wanted to be one. She did not have the high enough math to be one as well. So! She decided to be a Psychologist.
The point I am trying to make here is! When we first see our kids to be curious in something. That is when we should watch them and see how far it goes. But at the same time. Do not deter them from it. Because what if it’s something they really and truly want to do as they get older? Then it becomes something they can be happy in rather than be miserable in.
Just because! We may be does not mean they (our kids!) have to be.
Let me give you an example! I me some kid (I will call him a kid because he does not even be called a kid at ten when we met. You will find about him in later posts!)
At the time we met! He asked me :”what do you want to be when you grow up?” said: “A DJ!” He laughed! He said he wanted to be an air force jet pilot! He continued! He said: “When you are making $1,00 a year! “I’ll be making $11,000 a year! (Keep i mind! This was 1967. When the COLA was not as bad as it s today! He had said this!)
Then he wanted to be a Hydraulics & pneumatics engineer because his dad new someone who was on and had a $60,000 house in Fla.. He die learn to be one. but somehow he got bitter about his employment ops. I still think that! His dad who was a R.R. engineer! Wanted him to be in a job where he could make a real buck. even thought! His dad was making one at the same time. Instead! He learned Computers.
Amazing! He knew what he what he wanted to be (at 10 yrs.old!)! But! Did not go for it!
I do want to make this even clear! Even given what had happened to Mr. Foley last week.
Over the years! There have been so great many people in this industry that have come and gone. That some have been called veterans of broadcasting.
And for him to put down these people in the industry & bad mouth them is! Well you know how that goes.
Another example is from me!
My mother was at one point in time! A RN. Due to circumstances she lost her license. And became a housekeeper for hire.,
It was not until ,was about 14 years old. I wanted to be a writer. Although For several years I did keep it to myself. But! When ,did tell my mom. She said: “You have to know someone!” “You have to pull There went that idea/thought.
Then in later years! I wanted to get into music! My influencers were Burt Bacharach, Chicago, Seals & Croft, Ed Ames, Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66! I told my mom! And! To the same as well.
Years later! About 12 years to be precise! I asked her why did she not let me become any of those things that ,wanted? She said: “I did not want to see you fall flat on your face!”
I know! One should not be put down or blame ones mom! But! In looking back. I knew the why she says what she said. No one wants ever to see their own child not be successful/loose/fail/or “Fall flat on their face!”
My parents did not know what to look for! While my two “Half” Sisters and I were growing up any more than any of us even on to today. As a parent! I think we are more concerned about that they do not get into trouble, get good grades and you know the rest!
Most of us spend a good chunk of our life! Either trying to find something/someone to blame for what we have become in our life.,
There are even some people! Who have stayed at their jobs since it was their first job. And have not even given it a thought about doing something that either wanted, interesting, satisfying to do/be!
When your young and finding a job just to have some money in your pockets to spend. But! It’s another when you make your first job! Your life’s work! When you already have what it is that you have both in mind & want!,
,I myself did not understand the whys of my mom! But guess I made my peace with it.
But! What about us & our kids? ,Are we are telling them to take the course we are? The same job/career vs. what they want to do/be?,
I look at both writing and composing music! As a craft! But! For me writing is booth an interest and a hobby as well. It keeps my interest up constantly! Always thinking, wondering what can ,write next?
,But! It’s something that in looking back! I would still be writing either way! With either by hand, The typewriter (old I know!), Computer/internet, Blogging/posting, author of mini books, op-ed’s.
Do you see what I am talking about?
It took me a very long time! Before I could finally realize what a true feeling being on your own is. I am not saying that anyone/everyone should be on their own. But! Because of me being different! It does in a way both pose and create a problem.
You see! When you see, think things in a way that others somehow cannot. And when they find out you are not like them! Well, It can and does have its advantages as well as disadvantage as well.
During my time I tried so hard to please others. And it just did not work. Too many years! Too much effort! I gave up! As I did. I began to learn something new. Freedom! Independence! On my own terms!
I could go anywhere (As long as my parents did not know where I went & did!), do what I wanted to do, see who I wanted to see and on. I occupied my time at home with listening to the radio. When I was younger! My musical tastes changed as I got older. At 12 I listened to classical, traditional jazz, Sinatra, Martin, Bennett. I had a multi-band radio and I would listen at night because the SW (Shortwave) broadcasters from on the other side of the world would begin their transmissions at that time, and collect what is called QSL cards each time I submitted a reception report. Always watched TV. Read Billboard magazine (When it was a $1.00 a copy!). Playboy (To the same as well!). Of course! Rock-n-roll.
The point I am trying to make is this!
Friends will come & go! We will have the good, bad, ugly friends too! But! You only have a one time shot at life and what it has. And as the song goes: “You cannot please everyone so you have to please yourself!”
Some of you may remember! I posted an article about it.
Guess what? Here it comes again!
The thing to keep in mind is the income Vs. Outcome. This cannot be overdone.
1. Always keep track of your money! It’s yours! Why not?
2. Be responsible where it comes from! And where it goes. That means keep track of each cent & dollar you spend. There is a reason for this.
If you kept a record of where it came from and where it is going! You will find that over time. Money you did not even think you had before. This does not mean being stingy, cheapskate, tightwad whatever!
3. Work the coupons to your advantage. Example: When there is a sale! And you know it is as sale. Always use the paper, e-coupons and you savings card the grocery store has for it’s customers as well. Be aware of displays that may look like a sale but! It’s a price increase.
4. Cut the cable/satellite! Americans are now cutting the cable/ satellite because of rate increases/service. And! Why still have it! When you can go on the Internet and watch it at little to no cost?
5. Cut the landline! 67% of Americans a doing just that. Because it’s cheaper to use your cell phone that a landline.
6. Investing! A bad word if ever? There people who still believe that it’s better to either play the lottery/gamble it away. But! Think of it this way! With what the banks are paying people who leave their money in the bank. And with what banks are charging for interest. You could make four times that much if you invested in the market. YES! You do have to know what you are doing when it comes to investing. So is playing the lottery/gambling!
8. Brown bag it for a while!
9. Rent, subscribe, take-out movies! The take-out is from the library.
10. ISP’S! There are many ISP’S in cyberspace. One where you can connect to it via your toilet! I have one where it uses cell phone frequencies to connect to the Internet for $50.00 mo..
11. Consider: “Minimalists” http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20140224-the-joy-of-minimalist-living. Now! This is something that everyone should think about. ,I’m a minimalist! It’s something that I did not know exist until I realized I am. Even though I do love my food, drink, wearing what I want to wear, living on my terms and such. Being a minimalist. Affords me the time I would otherwise spend on trying to figure out who gets paid first? Me? Or them?
12. Retirement! I have met people who think that “When I am fully vested I can retire and spend time with the grandkids!” Once they do. They start to find that! That Company retirement pension. Gets depleted rapidly! And they find themselves trying to find work and continue until the legal age to retire.
Planning! Is everything!
The sooner you find a job! That is when clearly should thin about setting up a retirement account. Even during the President Carter Administration! Social security was not as stable as we thought it was. Even onto today.
13. http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20140718-is-getting-rich-worth-it. The reason I put this Is because as it has been said: “Money is the root of all evil”. We have heard the stories about people who won the lottery and stuff! And those who went through it like water. As you will see it is not the only game in town.
15. Consider A part time job! Now! The thing here is that. Once you start one! It can and does become addictive. Because you can get used to it and when you do decide to leave it! It’s very hard to go back to an one income. I suggest this only because if you have some things you would like to get rid of. Then this is a good way to go.
16. If you are those who were laid off because of the “Great Recession” and working at a fast food place! Let’s say that you have a marketable skill. Why not think about “Freelancing”. It means that you take what you know and make a buck out of it. When you start out you may have to make you are asking price a little lower than what the market is asking. Once you establish yourself! Slowly increase your price to what the market is.
17. Funding for school! This may seem like the “Death Sentence” for some! But! The times are changing. There is no rewind, way back machines! As I understand it! Most Federal, state funding. Asks for the person who is out of work that if they want to retool of learn another line of work. Is to find something that takes two years or less to learn. It does take time to find these things out! It will not drop out of the sky for you!
18. If you need help in paying your utilities! Look into Federal, State agencies for help. Also! These cell phone carriers do offer Government subsidized phone service. Be careful! There are cell phone companies that do offer a free used cell phone! But! They will try to ask you to pay for additional minutes as well. DON’T! Its a ploy! , You do have to meet Federal poverty guidelines to get any kind/type of help/funding.
19. http://www.medicaid.gov/index.html When it comes to eligibility ! The Federal Government has some sort of eligibility form. Do not do it! Go to the agency and apply for it there.
20. RECYCLE! I have seen people who think “You can make a lot of money recycling!” Yes! And No! Recycling does have many benefits. But! Think of the time you would need to make a lot of money recycling? Vs. Cashing in? The money you can make from recycling can go for something later on. Not the here & now! The pennies do add up!
Knowing the rules, procedures, laws, understanding, knowing people. There is more to this but you know!
But! Being different is not as in: “Who are you”? It means being yourself, your own person. It’s my life and not someone else’s. It means having flexibility in choosing what you want, when you want, how you want. Taking the things you have learned along the way and still learning them and using them 24/7. Self-actualization can be defined as:,http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/a/hierarchyneeds_2.htm. And what is it:,http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/tp/self-actualized-characteristic.htm.
It’s not as hard as one may think it is. The best way I can describe it? It means going long the least traveled path in life. But! It also means knowing when to go onto the heavily traveled path just long enough to do what needs to be done. And jump back on the less traveled path and go about your journey/business.
We aren’t completing our hierarchy of needs! But! It does beat what is out there! The followers, the ones who cannot think or even do for themselves, the blending of each others minds (The jury is and always will be out on that one!).
Sum it all up and the conclusion is clear. Self-actualization means being yourself, doing what you want. But! It also means being open-minded, free thinking. Yes! There are times when one does need to challenge the system! But within the means of it! It is not out of reach. Knowing who to trust and whom not to trust. Keeping one’s own good counsel. And yes! At times wearing many hats judge, jury, counsel, best friend, man/woman/husband/wife/mom/dad.
Let me touch on being a good friend! I will not go into details of what a good friend is! We all have our own definition of that. Some on the money! Some others, not so much. Being a good friend means for someone who you want to go to if/when you have a problem with. And it does not go any further than “You, me, the wall”!. If you really think about it. Being a good friend is the very same thing that you want in a friend as well. It is very unfortunate because the world and the way it is. That friend is so very few and very far between. I could go on but I am sure you know the rest of the story!
Being a student does have its drawbacks. There are people who, when they meet someone who is! Two things that come to mind here. 1. They think “This guys so cool”! 2. They think “You’re like all the others!” A clash of definitions! Is this really what it all comes down to.