THE CYCLE OF ABUSE
But I sometimes think to myself!
The many people at anytime go through any/every type/kind of abuse there is.
Some psychical! Some mental!
Clearly! Both hurt but more than anyone knows!
My parents were abused when they were growing up
My mom was physically abused because her dad would steal things from her mom and would blame her for it
My dad he was verbally abused because his mom asked him to accompany her to the market.
And he said no and she said “all right” and went by herself.
This was in the winter, when she crossed the street a street car was coming down the road and hit & killed her.
From that day on!
He got the blame for it!
Since that day!
Whenever the family had dinner.
They would have (Let’s say!) steak
He would be in a corner in the dinning room.
Eating soup (I’ve had the soup he ate! he made to be scalding hot!).
Thankfully! My mom did not carry over her abuse onto me and my sisters.
But! My dad! He did carry it over unto me.
He did not do it to my sisters though!
But to me he did.
Perhaps! It was a hint as to how he was treated when he was growing up.
IDK! If either he did not like/love he!
Because over the years!
He subtly let it be known that I was not the son he wanted.
That’s pretty easy! Considering the fact that he did not even contribute in my growing up or did he?
For the sake of not re-living the past!
I will not go into some of the words he would use on me.
The point I’m trying to make here is!
Any kind/type of abuse can and does have an effect on us and our children.
What some of us do not understand is this!
Our parents and our grandparents and those before them and beyond!
Did not nor did we!
Carry a manual in tow when we and they were born.
So! What did they and we do?
We carbon copied what our parents did and we to ours the same.
As for me!
What did I do?
Amazingly! I did not do what my dad did.
I ended up being a better parent to my kids then he was to me.
As you can see!
The cycle of abuse stopped with my mom and me.
But with my dad!
Let’s just say he kept with the “Family tradition!”
I know that even unto this day and beyond!
Parents do not want to talk to their kids about what they went through with their parents.
Probably! Because if they don’t talk about it!
The cycle will stop with them?
But! Even their own kids cannot understand why their parents think, say things even they do not understand.
Each and every generation are not mind readers as to how the parents before them lived.
I think! That the life and times of way back when!
Were in some ways easier than today.
But now with the pressures of work & family and single parenting.
The electronic devices just to manage our lives & stay in touch.
Who (or what) is putting pressure on who?
Is it because of what men went through as they were growing up!
That some (not all) end up with this “I am in charge and what I say goes!”
Or my favorite! “I,know what I am doing!”
It’s a neck & neck race where there are no winners! No losers!
Because we all suffer from the past!